I am afraid that this is another one of my ‘great ideas’ that I get bored of after a while: writing as a career. It’s certainly not elaborate or far-fetched but the initial high has worn off and now I feel the same as always: scared, hopeless. Living always within the world in my head. I can never accept reality, never fully, my mind doesn’t let me; it slips off, drifts, into the unknown without my watchful eye. I want a nice safe place to go to, a home, with all my favorite people there all the time and all I would have to do and all anyone would have to do is just be. Just be together.