[normally I would answer you in an ask but for some error or another it won’t let me. You deserve a response]

I understand and I will not BS you.

You know how to lose weight the ‘healthy’ way (ie through adequate diet and exercise) but that is not enough for you. It seems that you are searching for something more and I would like to point out that this is not just losing weight (if it was, why not the healthy way?). You most likely have this undeniable yearning within you for something more, and I know more than anyone how this feels —to at last feel confident, powerful, happy. If you think that starving yourself will get this you are partially right. At first you will feel great and amazing but really it’s the eating disorder seducing you because soon enough you will realize that nothing is enough anymore: 120lbs, 110, 100, 90, 80 … they all look the same to you and you are more unhappy that you have ever been in your entire life and at the same time you are slowly killing yourself. If you’re incredibly lucky if in the end you will have few health problems but almost everyone ends up with damaged bodies. Your period stops, so do your hormones, so does the calcium that builds your bones and the longer this goes on the longer your bones deteriorate until you realize you have the bones of an 80 year old. I am not exaggerating and this doesn’t take long to happen (maybe a few years of malnutrition). Truthfully, you are not invincible, contrary to what the ED will tell you. This will happen to you. If your lucky you wont end up with Irritable Bowel Syndrome, since your bowls haven’t been properly functioning in years so now they just.. don’t. I really am not exaggerating, I know many people with ED’s from my journey and this is the reality. The longer you do it the worse it gets. Irregular heat rhythms, eroded teeth, etc. You can’t ever get this back. I am just asking you to think twice before you go ahead, really make sure you understand. Right now you still have your rationality (the ED will take that away too) so please please think.